March 14, 2020

World Tour Canceledmouse best plans, but what ado now?

I made it as far as Portland and back. Then virus. So in a glaringly obvious new development, I will not be spending the rest of this year flying state to state, country to country, meeting with clients, colleagues, and confidants, and breathing on them.

Instead, I’m taking round two of a lesson in gratitude, a repeat of my experience coming out of last year’s bout of debilitating nerve pain: I am damn near the luckiest schmuck on two legs.

I can ply my trades and practice my profession from the comfort of my apartment. What few things I might have lacked for work, especially those I used to keep in my office, are now also in my apartment, because that’s where things go when you give up a lease for a travel budget. All the books are here. So is my scanner, a printer, even a spare toner cartridge and a few reams of paper. All my computing gear is here. The Internet works fine, mostly.

I don’t know what’s coming, money-wise, work-wise, health-wise, family-wise. I’m not made of dollars, and those I have could spend away in a hurry. But I know that I probably still have a freer hand than most. Which is to say, it’s still on me, still my opportunity, to play for the team as I’m able. To do what I can.

Trouble is, I don’t know what that is. Watch a training course on how to operate ventilators? Sign up to help orgs with medical supply issues? Double down on projects for the homeless here in Oakland? Sit at home, wash my hands, and stay out of the way?

It’s one thing not to buy up the masks the doctors need. It’s one thing not to run off and buy toilet paper for … some reason. It’s one thing not to touch my face, though thinking about writing that, I just did. It’s quite another to do something, and not just feel good about doing it, but to see good in what it achieves.

The will is willing, but the mind’s drawing blanks.

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